December is usually the time of the year where I fall into this strange kind of melancholy amidst the holiday shenanigans. There’s something about the melodious carols, the colorful Christmas lights, and the lovely manger scenes, all exuding an effervescent beauty that it ends up depressing me. Maybe it’s just me, but you know how your senses could only take so many splendors at a time that the only thing you could do is cry? Plus, in one way or another, something almost always goes wrong during Christmas in my childhood – somehow, I’ve always associated the season with a bittersweet feeling.
Maybe I’ve become more pragmatic and a little less sentimental now that I’ve just turned 21. Or maybe because I’m earning my own money now and it’s hard to be all contemplative when you get your 13th month pay and you’re focused on budgeting gifts for friends and family. No matter the reason, I just feel a little less anxious now, and a little more relaxed.
Perhaps, little by little, this more settled state I’m in could be the result of my conscious effort to eliminate the things that make me unhappy. I’m just more concerned now with the things that really matter – family, friends, career, and maybe even the possibility of letting love in again. Life seems too short to live in the past and to seek justification from its many injustices – like toxic relationships, bulging waistlines, and the proliferation of literary mishaps such as Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey – which, I’m proud to say, does not affect me as much anymore (to be fair, I watched the latest Twilight film with girlfriends and actually had a good laugh – free popcorn and chips and all).
One of the highlights of this month would be my 21st birthday. The day was spent with my super fun officemates who ate my mom’s signature hungarian sausage pasta with much gusto. I also got to try Costa Brava’s caramel cake, courtesy of the PR team and my lovely boss Ms Charisse. I must visit this particular cake shop in Polaris, Bel-Air this 2013. Definitely on top of my bucket list.
Following a bout of birthday blues, I had my first ever birthday surprise in my own home! Think: I’m the one who supposedly organized it only to find out that my bestfriends Trina Jardin and Mica Valerio have been working hand in hand all week with my sister Val to plan a successful night! Best Actresses indeed. 😉 Let the pictures below speak for themselves:
Now I shall unearth the secret of looking and feeling “Forever 21.” I have a great feeling about this year.
On the title of the post:
Back in my teenage years, I once had a blog titled “Bleak December”, inspired from a line of my favorite poet Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Raven”. I realized what a stark contrast it had with my blog now. There is no turning back!