Road trips are usually the best time to be introspective. The long hours just gazing out the window will make you look back and reflect on life’s happenings. I came from Bataan over the weekend and I’ve thought long and hard about my past and how I’ve ended up jaded about that four-letter word to this day.
I know I’m not supposed to dwell on exes, but I somehow can’t fathom how a very pure kind of love can transcend into an ugly, unforgivable monster. It was both my fault and his. At one point we weren’t hardworking enough in making our relationship succeed. We started out madly in love, until it plateaued and we got lazy. Lazy to drive over and visit. Lazy to give words of affirmation. Lazy to listen. Lazy to forgive. Love requires hard work, and we were both too stubborn to make a move and keep things amicable.
I searched our names on Google and this came up. Titled Our Origin Story, it was ex number 2’s retelling of the first time we met. I almost forgot he wrote this.
I must admit it made me smile knowing what we had was something beautiful at the beginning. It may not have a happy ending, but my heart is at peace now. The people we meet and choose to love have a purpose in our lives regardless if we end up spending the rest of our time on earth with them.
Here’s the excerpt of his blog entry:
On that night, I happened to sit on the same table with a girl that caught my eye. Like a very courteous guest, she introduced herself to me. Her name was Nannie Flores. She told me that she worked in Mandarin Oriental Manila and that she was a PR person. I told her that I was a data analyst for a startup company in Makati. After that, we didn’t talk again because she was seated on the other side of the table, and it was difficult to talk to each other.
Later that night, I sat on the far end of the table with my best friend Gino. There was an empty seat beside me and then suddenly Nannie came over to sit down beside me. Initially, she talked to her friend who was sitting near me and Gino. Of course, being the gracious person she was, she tried to include me and Gino in their conversation. It worked pretty well and the next thing I remember was that we were talking to each other exclusively. We talked about literature and we both found out that we liked Haruki Murakami. She told me that she just recently finished A Wild Sheep Chase. What a coincidence. I read that for my Literature class during freshman year. From that moment alone, I could tell that she had good taste in literature. The next thing we talked about was our hobbies. I told her that I recently picked up reading graphic novels like Sandman and Y: The Last Man. She told me that she sang for the UA&P Chorale. She also told me about her upcoming Europe trip that she planned for the middle of the year. I told her that I was excited for her because I’ve never been to Europe and I always wanted to experience the different types of culture. I even told her about my initial plan to go backpacking in Europe after I graduated, but decided against it to visit my sister in LA.
It was a fun evening talking to each other. After that, she had to leave with her friends and I had an internal conflict on whether I should ask for her number or not. Earlier in the evening, my friend Gino gave me a pep talk telling me “Bro, you just have to try. I see something special here. It’s not every day you get to meet someone like that.”
I was sold. He was right. I had nothing to lose. Nannie was already saying her goodbyes to Ysabel and I still haven’t asked for her number yer. She goes out of the restaurant with her friends and I try to go after her. But suddenly, Ysa introduces her guy friend to me just as I was going tap Nannie’s shoulder. He said “Hey bro, kamusta na? Nice to meet ya! “
I told him “I’m good. Hey man is it okay if I go out one quick second? I just need to do something important.” He was polite and he let me pass. I ran after Nannie and caught up with her outside the restaurant. The dialogue went something like this…
Me: “Hi Nannie, I really had a good time talking to you in there. Is it okay if I get your number?”
Her: “Sure, let me put it on your phone”
Me: *brings out my phone, my hand shaking “HERE!”
Her: *puts her number but misspells her name to Namnie Flores
Her: *she turns around with a smile and goes back to her friends
That night I came to the conclusion that guys like me just needed a break every once in a while. In all honesty, I think I’m a good guy with a good heart. I just needed to be brave to make things happen for myself. Months have passed since I met her, and I’ve only grown to love her more. It’s been a blast, and I have more stories to tell with her.